dear dali letter 6 - dementia support for carers, my journey
Dear Dali – Letter 6
2 kwietnia 2021
dear dali letter 4 - dementia support for carers, my journey
Dear Dali – Letter 4
4 kwietnia 2021
dear dali letter 6 - dementia support for carers, my journey
Dear Dali – Letter 6
2 kwietnia 2021
dear dali letter 4 - dementia support for carers, my journey
Dear Dali – Letter 4
4 kwietnia 2021

Dear Dali

To start, I would like to thank you for being my inspiration today!

I don't know whether you did this on purpose or not, but your questions about William inspired me to write again!

It is almost two months since we came to Poland and William at this very moment is in Kraków, the most beautiful Polish city and the one he dreamed about.

If you don't remember, William was in love with Krakow ever since I have known him.

In fact, he was telling me a legend about Wawel Dragon from Krakow on the day that we met.

Back then, sitting in front of an old school bus, at the entrance to one of the

organic farms, in Ometepe ( Our Project - Zopilote Organic Farm (

not only did I not know this Polish story in such details as him,

but also I was in the jungle of thoughts, my head completely not prepared for what was

happening around me. I was lost and uncomfortable.

Hungarian friend, with whom I left Europe and arrived in Nicaragua, was not there for me.

Somehow we were in the same place together but we had lost connection.

And it was because of the same friend, I spent my first days in Nicaragua in one dodgy hostel, the place to be if you want to party all night, watch drunk, nude male holiday makers dancing, be robbed and take a lot of drugs. Ketamine? Something they give to horses, which I truly didn't want!

On my arrival night there, I must have been the only sober person plus my travel companion was not giving me any attention.

I remember a local guy who works as a guide. He was sitting with me at the table and we were talking. He was very surprised and asked me:

-"What are you doing here? You are different, how come you don't drink?".

For me it was interesting and quite sad to hear that this Nicaraguan man, staying in his own country, feels that he has to drink alcohol to have enough courage to approach drunk foreigners there at the bar and have a simple chat.

Our conversation went on and my words continued to surprise him, because I told this worker there, that I was very much interested in their local currency. In Nicaragua they have Cordobas, this of course wasn't the point.

Before my trip, while I was researching about Nicaragua I saw that on their coins they have written

"In Dios confiamos". I thought that this is something very meaningful and for some reason it spoke to me. As my approach to money has been changing and with this money approach changes, many things were happening in my life so I was passionately enquiring about this:

"In God we trust", written there. I thought that maybe people in Nicaragua found a good way to deal with money, a good way to live!

Friendly local did not answer my existential questions back then, but he looked very happy and even invited me to his house to meet his mother. Also since then he has been walking me back to my room, which was far away from the main sociable area, between bushes, the road was full of animals, pigs with piglets sleeping everywhere and the walk was in complete darkness. I needed somebody always to walk with me because OF COURSE leaving Poland,

I didn't even think about packing a flashlight with me. Before my trip to Central America, in Europe, I may have used a flashlight  a couple of times in my life. I was used to traveling but as a tourist not a traveller.

So there I was without light in Ometepe Island. Every walk after 6 pm was making me nostalgic for the street lights that we have in our village. I remember promising myself back there, that the first thing which I will do, once back in Stary Śleszów, will be to kiss a street lamp! (Just if you are interested, I didn't do it yet...)

The recent night which I spent under the sky here on my terrace, I was even annoyed with all the street lanterns. Their light in my face was disturbing me. I was there to get charged from the light of the stars, I didn't want a street light anymore! Seven months after Ometepe I notice little changes like that in me.

It was supposed to be about William, but well as I said, now William is in Krakow, reunited with his long time friend, the Polish guy, who some years ago, back in Costa Rica inspired William to become vegetarian and later a vegan.

That's another change in me, before my Nicaragua trip, I was a meat eater. I never even understood the difference between being vegetarian or vegan. Not to mention the importance

of both lifestyles. Now, I am a full hearted vegetarian myself. Secretly throwing leaflets informing about animals suffering in my fathers post.

William found a Veggie festival in Wroclaw a couple of weeks ago and there we found a lot of inspiring information. For example we have an organisation called:"Otwarte klatki"(Open cages).

They believe that in each human there is dormant sensitivity to animal suffering. Open cages

organisation believes that showing how industrial animal breeding really looks like, can awaken this sensitivity to the fate of farmed animals. The truth about industrial animal breeding is hidden from us, everyone should see movies like 'Samsara' and 'Baraka'.

Maybe this will make us think about what is on our plates.

'Poultry' means dead chicken and 'ham' is dead pig, burger from McDonald's, it's a dead cow who has suffered all her life, children should know it.

At this food festival we also saw some amazing literature for children.

Speaking about children, it is now 2 am, 1st of June, it is Children's Day!

And with all this writing which I did today, I feel as if I gave birth to a child.

And that reminds me about this party last weekend, while I was in Krakow as well.

My friend and I, happened upon a huge show with all the psychedelic pictures and fractals

There I had a feeling that my child can look like that, well maybe this is it!

It was an event called Egodrop. I never participated in anything similar before.

Amazing, colorful projections, the music and decorations were simply therapeutic!

There was love in the atmosphere and I got so high and peaceful just breathing there.

(Well, it is possible that there was something else in the air there too, but knowingly I didn't take any substances).

Speaking about fractals, I can see them now when I close my eyes,

in the shapes of weeds from my garden, I was actively meditating there 8 hours today.

I know I don't sit and don't 'start again' like we used to at Vipassana, but once I am in my vegetable garden, I can also call it a jungle, since after two intense days of rain it became exactly that, in plants microcosmos!

So, once I am trying to find my desired parsley greens among all the other greens, I am closely observing my thoughts. I am imagining that by cleaning my vegetable beds in the garden, I am also cleaning my head from destructive thoughts. Somehow it works out that every time that I can notice a positive, fresh, constructive thought in my head, I am also finding a parsley leaf in the jungle of weeds, Honestly!

Doing this exercise I am able to catch some patterns in my head, I can distinguish my own thoughts from the ones which I learned from my mother-for-instance.

-"He left me here, alone with this jungle. There is so much work to do and he is Krakow!

  He left me with hundreds of babies (this is how William calls plants) to look after".

Above thought was a weed.

-"Malwina you are here for a reason, this garden became a jungle for a reason too,

  you wanted to be here, you wanted to walk without shoes and watch butterflies."

This was a parsley leaf!

William just sent me a message...TO REMIND ME that this coming Saturday is the first Saturday of the month, so it will be the flea market again!

And of course he won't be helping, because he will still be in Krakow, extending weekend stay to two weeks. I can watch a weed-thought growing in my head right now! I need to do more gardening tomorrow!

The rose-pink light of dawn is showing behind my windows at the moment, which, because I am following Ramadan, means my time to eat and drink has finished until 9 pm today.

18 hours of fasting for the body has just started, but I can feed my soul under the stars, listening to croaking of frogs and chirping of birds now.

Good night inspiration!

Malwina M. Gawron

Poland, June 2017

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